Wallpaper in disguise

You know when you’re renting, and there’s that long lease contract that says don’t do this and that? And there’s that part about not painting walls?

Well, I was going to follow those rules in my last apartment. I saw this really beautiful, tropical-y-ish peel-and-stick, renter-friendly wallpaper with gold foil accents on Pinterest. And then I saw the price—issa no for me, dawg.

Image of that unreasonably priced wallpaper.

So then I though to myself, “Why don’t you just paint it? You can always paint it back.”

A few trips to home depot and Michaels, and I was pretty happy with it! This was my first time painting on such a large scale, probably since I was in middle school when I had helped make some backdrops for a school play.

My friends and family said that I should leave it and that my landlord would probably like it. I primed it back white, just in case. And I did still receive a little line item on a bill at the end of my lease for paint.

I was actually pretty proud to challenge myself and make something that I really enjoyed both the process and the end result.

Moral of the story: You can always paint it back :)

My musical identity

Picture of me as a baby (maybe toddler), mashing my tiny, chonky baby hands across the keys on our family piano, smiling at the camera

I grew up surrounded by music. I started piano at an early age, learned to play guitar, and sang in church. I remember in my piano lessons, I would play my teacher the music as it was written, then play her my more, spicy version! That was beginning of my journey to find my unique identity as a musician and artist.

Back then, I thought music was the path for me (and maybe it still is)! I was a voice major for a hot second in college, where I quickly started feeling as if I didn’t this classical program full of opera-hopefuls. They said I was a “pop” singer… well, I prefer R&B if I must be bucketed somewhere, but you know, who doesn’t want to be Beyoncé?! So I changed my major to art education.

Despite continuing university on a different path, eventually graduating with my bachelors of science in design, I continued to have moments where I would attempt to reignite the the musician in me. In 2014, I saw Ed Sheeran in concert at the Hollywood Bowl. I anxiously waited for him to play I See Fire, a song I was immediately mesmerized by when I saw The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug. He proceeded to build up and play the whole song on a loop pedal. In awe, I wondered how I might create that without the necessary equipment. So, back in my Instagram days, I made this.

I See Fire, but on a budget:

Video of me using a collage app to play different guitar parts to Ed Sheeran’s, I See Fire

We had a piano (pictured above in the first image) growing up, an upright Young Chang that I had donated to a church before leaving from Phoenix to Seattle. At that time I couldn’t afford the money or space to take it with me. So then fast-forward, I moved to Denver and I was looking for a piano, as I felt that part of my life leaving a huge hole in, well—me. I was a little more grown and had a little more money and a little more space. I had posted to Facebook, asking what I should be investigating or looking for in a used piano. My aunt, who lives back in Arizona, responded, “Well honey you can just have ours. You were the only one who ever played it.”

What a gift, right?! So I just had to figure out how to get it to Denver, and I did. I now had a Weber (made by Young Chang) baby grand piano in my apartment. And it all just suddenly felt really special and deeply-rooted or me—really right. Young Chang is a Korean piano manufacturer. I am half Korean, born in Korea, and adopted from there. Identity is a tough/big/nuanced/complicated topic for me. Being adopted, there’s a lot that feels “lost” when it comes to my heritage. So things like this, where the brand might seem so trivial to some, are a really big deal to me–to have something that came from where I did. So when I play, I feel a sense of connection to a home I’ve never known, and a layered whirlwind of emotions when I play.

Spicy piano song that sorta sounds like something from Zorro:

Video of me playing a “spicy” version of a song I used to play in piano lessons as child.

Letting go of control

I’ve been painting since my childhood. I did my first oil painting in the 4th grade. Since then, I’ve gravitated towards acrylics, and mediums I felt like I could “control.” I’ve always struggled with watercolors because of this.

It’s interesting, I have two framed artworks from my niblings (niece and nephew)—watercolor pieces they created as toddlers. And to see them hanging up brings me joy, and perhaps some inspiration. It’s delightful to see that they are able to create something so beautiful, flowing, and beyond the grips of control, or what they think it should look like.

So over the pandemic, as I spent time at home, I decided to try to take on this watercolor challenge again. Before, it was kinda unnerving to watch the pigment spread in whichever way the water decided. I didn’t like that. I felt like it had to bend and bloom to my idealizations of the perfect watercolor painting that I saw on Pinterest. Don’t get me wrong, I know that technique matters. But this was an exercise in release for me. Here’s what I made.

Photo of an abstract 18 x 24 watercolor with hues of orange, violet, and blue, forming tiny sections of organic shapes

Three watercolor paintings, one of a prickly pear cactus, a coffee cup and saucer in the middle, and a collection of sage-y stems on the right

An image of a watercolor painting with purple and orange florals